


could do better

by distractionpie



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Jealousy, M/M, Mildly Possessive Behavior, Oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 04:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10632579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distractionpie/pseuds/distractionpie
Summary: Joe dates a lot of people in his search for the right guy, Bill approves of none of them.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wildwoods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwoods/gifts).



> Yet another drabble that got out of hand. Whoops.

Bill doesn’t hear about the first guy Joe dates until after the whole thing is over and Joe is on his sixth shot of tequila, which it seems is the threshold for letting loose and cussing out the kind of grade A asshole who dates someone for two months then chucks them with the excuse of never having been that interested anyway.

He's kind of annoyed to have been kept out of the loop, as Joe’s best buddy it’s his job to know about these things, but given how reticent Joe had been about coming out in the first place it does sort of make sense that he’d want to keep his first venture into the dating pool on the down-low.

The second time it happens, he's less forgiving. Mostly because guy number two also turns out to be a waste of space, and while Bill never minds drinking with Joe he much prefers celebratory or social drinking to mopey break-up drinking. He just doesn't appreciate Joe feeling so down over a guy who apparently was seeing two other people on the side so clearly didn't know a good thing when he had it.

Bill's started to learn the signs by that point, so the next time Joe starts smiling down at his phone and being busy at strange times, Bill asks to meet the guy. Joe is reluctant, talks about how new it is and how he doesn't want Bill to scare the guy off. As far as Bill is concerned any guy scared off that easily isn't worth Joe's time, but he nods along and then enlists Babe and Luz to help him pinch Joe's phone and get the guy's name. Steve seemed like a pretty good guy based off googling Bill did, he'd done a stint in the army, was working with vets now and volunteering with kids on the side, his social media profiles looked normal enough, he was a little more clean-cut and blonde than Bill would have expected Joe to go for, but there was no accounting for taste. He'd almost been willing to concede that Joe had finally managed to pick a decent guy, but for one little flaw.

"Thought you were supposed to be with your new guy tonight?" he asks, when Joe joins him at the bar.

Joe orders a beer, which is a good sign, and says, "He had to bail," which is not.

"Family emergency?" Bill asks, trying to fight the urge to assume the worst of the guy.

"Sort of," Joe says, taking a sip. "He had to slip out early, was gone when I woke up. But he'd been talking last night about waiting on news about an ex of his who's been having some legal trouble, and going by the note it's got something to do with that."

Bill places his glass down on the table very slowly. "He ran out on you for some other guy?" he confirms slowly.

Joe frowns. "Not like that," he defends. "He's a good guy, he just had to deal with some shit."

"Pft, I don't care if he's Captain goddamn America," Bill declares. "Sneaking out in the middle of the fuckin' night to talk to an ex is a sign of a guy who ain't over it, and your momma raised you better than to fuck around with anybody pulling that sorta bullshit."

Joe pulls a face. "I'm sure he'll have a decent explanation when he calls," Joe says.

But Steve doesn't call. Doesn't even text. Or at least not until two weeks later by which point no sane person would be fool enough to accept his excuses or apologies, and Joe does one better and cuts the call before he can get more than a few words of bullshit out. Steve calls back fives time over the next week and Joe lets it ring out every time until Malarkey shows him how to go one step further and block a number. It's good riddance.

There's a lull after that, several months during which Joe seems to have lost interest in the whole dating scene and Bill has almost forgotten all that trouble until one night at the bar when Bill turns around from a conversation with Babe only to see some guy he doesn't recognise standing way too close to Joe over by the dartboard.

"You know him?" he asks Babe, but Babe shakes his head. Not a regular then, or one of the two of them would have seen him around before, just an interloper trying to muscle in where he's surely not welcome.

"Right," Bill says, getting up from his seat.

Babe leans over a grabs his arm with a dubious look. "You really gonna go over there and cockblock him?"

Bill glances back over and sizes the guy up before shaking his head. "No way, look at him. Joe doesn't want to waste his time with some creep in a cheap suit who uses too much hair gel. I'm just gonna go make sure that loser doesn't give him any trouble."

Babe rolls his eyes. "Yeah, like Joe's ever needed help putting fools in their place before," he says, but he settles back in his chair, diverting his attention to his phone, no doubt planning on sending a series of emoji laden messages to update his buddies on the little bit of gossip he thought he'd found.

By the time Bill has made his way over to them, the stranger has his hands on Joe, touching his arms like Joe needs some random barfly to show him how to throw darts and, more disconcertingly still, Joe doesn't look like he's contemplating ripping off the offending limb. Joe likes his personal space, and he's got zero tolerance for handsy strangers though he’s a lot more relaxed about it with his friends so Bill throws an arm over his shoulders.

“Hey, I was wondering where you got to,” he says, eyeballing the stranger who smartly backs off.

Joe frowns. “I’m exactly where I said I was gonna be.”

“Yeah but I didn’t think you were gonna disappear on me,” Bill says, “Unless your new friend here particularly needs you for something.”

“No, I was just leaving,” the guy says, nearly tripping over his feet to make an exit. Bill watches him leave, satisfied, but Joe sighs, shoulder shifting under Bill’s arm.

“Did you seriously have to scare off my best chance at getting laid tonight?” Joe complains.

“Aw c’mon,” Bill says, not even trying to hide his grimace at the thought that Joe might have actually let that sleaze get anywhere with him. The thought just ain't right. “Are you tellin’ me you weren’t getting creepy vibes offa him?”

Joe stares at him blankly and then signs and shakes his head. “I dunno, maybe you’re right. I didn’t notice anything, but it’s only ever the fuckin’ weirdos that are interested in me.”

Bill’s not sure he agrees. There’s gotta be decent guys out there who’d love to take Joe out, but for some reason Joe never seems to pick them. It really doesn’t make sense to him. Joe has excellent taste in sports teams, movies, pizza toppings, anything that Bill cares to think of, but when it comes to men every one he picks is indisputably terrible.

The weirdest part is that Joe doesn’t seem to realise how bad they are. Bill could understand the reasons why a person might knowingly settle for less, even if it wasn’t something he could support, but Joe acted honestly oblivious to the fact that every guy he dated was way below his league, no matter how often Bill tried to remind him he could do better.

In general, he tries to keep his critiques to a minimum around Joe. Joe ought to be informed that he’s dating shitty guys, but Bill doesn’t want to piss him off by constantly picking at his judgement. The last thing he wants is for Joe to take up with some guy and not introduce him to Bill because he doesn’t want to hear Bill complaining and then the guy turn out to be trouble and Bill not know about it.

For Buck’s birthday, they meet in their favourite bar, for a relaxed celebration and late into the night as people start to drift home but Bill isn’t ready to be done yet, he finds himself listening as Joe recounts his last disastrous date, who’d apparently spent half the night flirting with their waiter. The main impression that Bill gets is that Joe had somehow once again landed a guy too stupid to live.

“-maybe I’m being too picky,” Joe concludes and nope, no, Bill cannot let that shit stand.

“Fuck, you’re like the opposite of too picky,” he argues. “You gotta stop putting up with shit from sleazebags and hold out for someone who’ll treat you right. A guy who’ll stick by you not some user who just fucking run in and out.” Joe is staring at him but Bill is on a roll so he continues, “You need somebody who gets it, okay. Somebody who isn’t gonna take anybody else’s shit but respects the hell outta you. Fuck those snobby college boy types who think it you gotta have an education to be smart, but no more losers who think you’re weird for wanting to learn shit either. You need somebody who appreciates your brains and all the rest of your shit, not just somebody who’s into you because you’re hot.”     

Joe scowls. “What I’ve gotta be is realistic.” He lifts his drink, downing the beer before slamming the empty glass down on the table, then stands with a sigh.

Bill wants to go after him, but he doesn’t know what the he’d even say. So far as he can see everything he said _was_ realistic. Any guy would be lucky to have Joe, and there had to be at least a few guys out there who met the minimum standards of decency Bill expected. His thoughts are interrupted by a loud, “Sooooo…”

Bill looks over at George who raises one eyebrow and then the other. It makes him look like an idiot but he's ridiculously proud of his ability to raise each of them individually and shows it off at every possible opportunity. "What I got from that,” Luz says, because of course he would have been eavesdropping, “Is that you think he should be dating you."

Bill stares at him. "What? Where did you get that from?" George comes out with some weird shit sometimes, but this is new. 

"Well you’ve known him years and stuck with him through all kinds of shit," George says, counting his points off on his fingers, “And ‘cause of knowing him like that you get him better than pretty much anyone; his mom likes you-”

“I didn’t say anything about his mom,” Bill interjects.

George shrugs. “I know, but I’m sure it was on your mental list. Anyway, you take no shit so if some guy pulled the crap you pull trying to scare you off him you’d probably just sock ‘em; you had his back about wanting to turn down those college places, but you’re never a dick about when he has to skip out on shit to study for his technical certificates; and - aw shit, I’m losing track, but you get the picture.”

“So I’m pretty excellent,” Bill jokes. “Joe deserves excellent.”

George rolls his eyes. “I’m surprised you didn’t list grew up on 17th street, South Philly in that description to be honest. Nobody else is ever gonna meet the standards you set.”

“Bullshit,” Bill says, “If I can meet them then any bastard that thinks they’re worth Joe’s time oughta.”

“Aw, don’t be dense Bill,” George says, landing a solid thump to his arm. “Even if somebody came along that was just like you, you’d still find some fault with ‘em because you want him for yourself.”

Bill, in the midst of taking a swig of beer, chokes.

He opens his mouth to deny it, but there’s something serious in George’s eyes behind the mirth so he stops, thinks, tries to imagine a guy that would treat Joe right, a guy that Joe could take home not just for the night, but forever, who Joe’s mom would give leftover meatloaf, and maybe they’re get a couple of fogs together and… He’d expected the thought to make him happy, pleased his buddy was getting the happiness he deserved, but instead he just feels angry and a little sick.

“Fuck.”

George nods. “And,” he says, “You did just call him hot. Which I agree with, but your tone wasn’t exactly bros.”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Joe is hot, Bill has working eyes and that’s never been in question, but they’re friends and, “I, fuck, what if it’s weird?”

“Yeah, no, you’re waaay past weird and have been for a while,” George says. “And even you weren’t, you’ve both dealt with worse shit, you’d get through it.”

Shit. They need to talk. Joe might have left but Bill’s got a good idea of where he’ll have gone. He downs the rest of his beer, and goes after him. Behind him, he can hear George laughing.

Sure enough, Joe is leaning against the fire escape, cigarette in hand.

“Look I haven’t been totally straight with you,” Bill says, then shakes his head. “Well, no, actually I’ve been too straight with you if you know what I mean.” He's not, but fuck knows he's always been vague on the labels.

“Not really,” Joe says, dryly, not taking his attention off of his smoke.

Bill starts to gather his thoughts, searching for how to explain this to Joe but fuck it, he ain’t gonna get anywhere by talking around it. “Go on a date with me.”

Joe blinks at him, then grinds his cigarette out on the brickwork. “I know you think every guy who’s ever been interest in me is a loser, but I don’t need a pity date,” he says tersely.

“Well maybe I do,” Bill says, because there’s nothing he hates more than pity but, “I’m sick of standing by and watching other guys all over you when they ain’t shit. When it should be you and me.”

“You’re crazy,” Joe says, and there’s just no way that Bill can resist an opening like that.

“Crazy for y-”

He doesn’t get a chance to finish, but that’s okay, but the words are stopped by Joe’s lips on his, a little tentative at first but then surer as Bill kisses back. If he has his way, by the time Bill's done with him the thought of other guys is gonna be just a distant memory for Joe.

 

He’s right.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Ain't Good Enough (A Remix in Dangerous Times)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16003871) by [Muccamukk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muccamukk/pseuds/Muccamukk)




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